Thursday, March 24
dear diary...face it, im such a slow learner. i cant even get vibrating THROUGH. tell myself i should work hard everyday to put in the goddamned effort in practicing my viola. i try and play with emotion. i close my eyes and listen to the music, or rather, NOISE im playing. i dont know what the hell is wrong with me. i try so hard, why does nothing ever come through?? i practice every DAY JUST HOPING - i will get it right... yay.. i improved.. and then some people wont qiao bu qi wo. but im never going to play well. i know it. i dont even know why i should be shedding tears over this matter. oh right, because... IT CONCERNS SYF ! SYF!! yes, and what about : me CAN NEVER GET IN. nice job, sarah. you practiced oh SURE YOU did... did i ask myself if i had put in the effort : YES . YES YES YES. i feel bda if i dont practice. i go for sectionals every day to pick up skills. i try but nobody notices, or cares anyway. im signing off. i cant stand it already.sarah ----(( when im all alone, i seek solace in thy's music ))
{ 8:05 PM }